Camilla cries off ...

CAMILLA.

Months ago, plans were agreed by our new, 57 year old, Duchess of Cornwall [shown here, loyally crunching a nice crusty, Cornish-pasty] to perform her first solo Royal duty, a week tomorrow. Now being the most senior, female Royal, after the Queen, she was set to spend time amongst the sick -- as British Royals, from time to time tend to do.

Sadly, it now appears the only [fat] chance Southampton General Hospital has of seeing her, is maybe as a patient. Of course, only if she's secretly switched from the Harley Street set to the NHS. Otherwise, I fear it's a case of 'forget it,' because Charlie's little darlin' has suddenly started suffering, herself. Or so we're being led to believe.

Only four days ago, courtiers unexpectedly cancelled the whole caboodle -- allegedly at Camilla's command. "She's sick," they've reportedly said. You know, like -- she's become overcome -- with nervousness. We'll have to postpone. It's panic, pure panic. It's panic attacks! The prospect of performing publicly, all alone, has filled her with too much fear.

However, Charles' Clarence House press secretary, has also chimed in -- to the contrary. He claims the abrupt cancellation is due to 'strict rules'. Rules, re: Royal engagements in run ups to elections. Rules, which a Cabinet Office spokesman has since said, come as news to him.

Confusing isn't it?

There's more. The very day Camilla should have set off for Southampton -- Prince Andrew, The Duke of York, is visiting a hospital, at Wrexham in North Wales. Furthermore, Prince Anne, the Princess Royal, is also to visit a hospital [ St Mary's ] in London -- on May 5th -- General Election Day.

Obviously, I've missed something, somewhere along the line. I was convinced that Anne & Andrew were both still, 'Royals'.

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© 2005 Richard Morrison