Chris Patten Points at Putin, Blair, Bush, Cheney and more ...

Cripes, Christopher! Cor blimey, mister!

Here's hoping that book's a brilliant best seller.

Erm, 'ang on a mo, mate ? Which bloomin' book is that then?

Why, it's Chris Patten's most recently released one, of course. The one that seems all set to cast that proverbial cat amongst those proverbial pigeons.

Read on, and all should soon be revealed

It's called, Not Quite the Diplomat -- and when you read it you'll realise why -- rather rapidly.

Take a quick peek at this quote.

Pervez Musharraf is "not a democrat", Dick Cheney's style is to stick up "two fingers" to the outside world and Vladimir Putin is a liar. It is blunt riticism from former top diplomat Chris Patten, who has just published a new ook in which he lets rip at the world's most famous politicians.

Yeah, you better believe it is.

But it gets better.

Patten, who stood down as European Union external relations chief last year, ending more than a decade on the world's public stage, pulls few punches in recounting behind-the-scenes tales of life at the top.Getting the general gist, now? Catching Christopher's drift, yet?

Ready to read on?

Then be This Old Brit's guest.

Like many critics of Blair's obsession with media spin, he accuses the New abour leader of changing his views to suit public opinion.

"Mr Blair, a sually likeable man, has convictions to which he holds strongly - when he holds tem.

His convictions change on issues ... to reflect what he believes to be prevailing convenient opinion," he writes.

Ouch! Eh?

Dastardly Dick Cheney and his nasty, crappy neo-con crew, cop it full frontal too -- straight in their frat-brat, fat-cat faces.

Of the Americans themselves, Patten - who held the EU post from 1999 to last October and was seen as a key Atlanticist in Brussels - singles out the neo-conservatives led by Cheney for his most withering criticism.

"Mr Cheney does not do style. He is two fingers to style," he says, calling the US vice president gressively nationalist, conspiratorial, the patron of the Washington branch of the Likud party".

Patten doesn't pull punches, does he?

He is less reserved about the new US ambassador to the United Nations, John Bolton, saying that "for him there is no United Nations, there is only one nation that counts, America. Cooperation is for sissies".

"Mr Bolton is the Pavarotti of neo-conservatism; his views have taken the roof off chancelleries around the globe," he writes.

And Berlusconi gets blasted - big time.

More recently Patten laments the time that Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi made a "toe-curling" defence of Putin's Chechen campaign, during an EU-Russia meeting under Italy's EU presidency in 2003.

Then there's this sarcky swipe -- aimed this time, at an Asian Big-Brother.

Pakistan's President Musharraf fares less well. "Whatever you say about General Musharraf, he is not a democrat," he says, adding that he "will not last forever".

Patten further proclaims - quite publicly and plainly - President Putin's a liar.

North Korea's Kim Jong-Il, along with France and Germany's leaders, don't escape Pattens' put-downs either.

Alright ...... alright. Enough already.

Go read the rest on your own.

There's much, much more at the two links below.

( Incidentally, if you find yourself feeling this book's a 'must-have' -- here's a few words to the wise.

Penguin's published Patten's 'Not Quite the Diplomat' at £20. The Guardian offers a 'special' £18 price deal of their own --- but an amazing Amazon 40% reduction is available to those in the know --- like YOU.

So you can order right HERE for only £12.

Which means, whenever anyone buys a book from Amazon via This Old Brit's button-link [near the blog's bottom] everyone's a winner. Because they get the sale - you get the book - I get a little commission. )

Okay, okay --- end of commercial break.

So here's your promised Patten links. Enjoy!

1./ http://www.guardian.co.uk/comment/story/0,,1573131,00.html

2./ http://english.aljazeera.net/NR/exeres/F805362E-3781-4581-89CC-274C876ADBD7.htm