An Auld Irish Fairy Tale : As Told By Hillary Clinton ...

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Awh, bejabuz and begorrah, a top a de mornin' to yiz all.

'Tis nice t'see yiz all again. Honest t'God, so it is.



And as our own dearly beloved departed, sainted auld mother Riley granny - God rest her soul - used t'say t'we wee childer: "Now sit yizselves down an' behave yizselves while I tell yiz all a story. Tiz a special true auld Irish fairy tale. An' before I go any further, Richard me laddo, if yer don't shurrup, sit still and stop fidgetin' - y'll get d'back a me hand.

But Holy mother a' Mary, who ever'da tought dat posh snooty American woman, Mrs whatzername Clinton - good God in heaven forgive her - could spin 'em as good as d'rest of us? Don't yiz tink, now?

Okay, don't worry, we've not finally flipped our lids altogether. And profuse sincere apologies to our Irish readers - of whom we know for sure, there are several - but as only second generation British scousers with our roots firmly set somewhere on the Southwest coast of the old emerald isle, we're sure you'll take our well meant attempts at good humour in the good natured spirit they're intended.

Anyway, for those without a clue as to what the hell we're waffling on like eejuts about, here IS a clue. (And incidentally, isn't it amazing how far flung Hillary's fame as a flipping big fibber is already?)

A misrepresented meeting

Clinton also makes major claims to have helped broker the Northern Ireland peace process.

Actually, I was in Belfast when the Clintons came calling in December 1995. Hillary had tea with some very nice women from groups helping single mothers and deprived young people.

She so admired the ordinary British cafe stainless steel teapot that one of the ladies gave it to her as a gift.

It was not a significant event; I cannot even remember whether I included it in my report on the presidential visit.

But 14 years later, out on the campaign trail, Clinton grossly misrepresented the meeting as a pivotal moment in the peace process, in which she "brought together for the first time" people from Protestant and Catholic communities who agreed to work for peace.

The actual participants in the peace process, including John Hume and David Trimble, say Hillary had no input in their negotiations.

Now, if yiz don't want us tell yer mams, dads, teachers, and Father O'Thingee, then y'all better behave yizselves and read the rest right here.



Sorry, we've suddenly got to sod off straight away and get ourselves to the air raid shelter as soon as poss, since the sirens have started, the barrage balloons are up and the searchlights are switched back on.

We kid you not. Really and truly. Honest t'God. The ak-ak guns are going.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph! The Germans are coming again.

*(Cross posted at appletree)