Totally Not Gay Republican Chokes on Testicles

Nothing makes a Republican's mouth water like a handful of delicious testicles


Every year, the elites of the Republican party gather at the Georgetown club for a totally not gay all-male dinner in which the main course is lamb fries. For those who didn't grow up on a gay farm, "lamb fries" are sheep's testicles.

I'll let Rachel Maddow describe what made this year's Republican testicle-eating fiesta noteworthy:

Ted Stevens there, Cheney there, Ed Rollins, the former V.A. Secretary Jim Nicholson, the White House counsel is there – Fred Fielding, all at this Paul Laxalt dinner at the Georgetown club. And the dinner makes the Washington Post today because at the dinner, the White House counsel Fred Fielding. Choked.

He got something stuck in his throat while he was eating. He got a very public administration of the heimlich maneuver from a Mitt Romney campaign guy named Ron Kaufman, who ran up behind Fielding and heimliched him – then Ed Rollins the Huckabee campaign manager took over and he started heimliching him. Then Rollins pulled over a chair and jumped up on it to try to get a better angle for heimliching the White House counsel – and finally – after all this ...

Boink! The offending, choking thing, either pops out of the Fred Fielding’s mouth, or it pops down his gullet, one or the other. There are conflicting reports. But it’s good news. The White House Counsel, Fred Fielding – successfully heimliched... Not dead.

In other words, what makes this event newsworthy is not that a bunch of Republican bigwigs were eating testicles at an all-male dinner, but the fact that there was a Republican who had a problem with eating testicles. Other than that, it was just a regular day in the Gay Old Party.

(cross posted at appletree and Liberal Avenger)